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Thursday, March 13, 2014

DOUBTS

Everyone has doubts, and I'm sure they're perfectly normal, but as much as I don’t want them-- they’re here.  As I approach graduation, I’m beginning to wonder if I made the right decision; if all of this debt was really worth it; if my education really taught me what I needed; if all my sacrifices were worth it, and whatnot.  You get the point.

Being a writer isn’t exactly the easiest job in the world.  When people ask you what you do for a living and you respond with, “Writing,” they look at you like you just made the biggest mistake of your life.  But what’s more, once you tell them that you went to school for writing, you can hear them snicker behind your back.  Oh, but tell them you’re an upcoming screenwriter, and EVERYBODY wants to be your friend. 

Not that I’m saying any of you have done that, but it has happened to me before.  I once worked with this one lady who – once she found out I was writing scripts – thought I was her ticket out of here.  She tried to act like I was her best friend in the WHOLE world. Had she ever read any of my work?  No.  Was she interested in any of my stories?  No.  Then why would I give her a second’s thought?  You’re right, I wouldn’t!  This next part is going to make you laugh, though probably not as much as it made me laugh. 

So, Sheryl (not her real name) wanted me to cast her as the main star in one of my short films.  The description of the character she wanted to portray?  A twenty-three year old woman, sandy brown hair, golden tan, cute button nose, and a desirable figure.  Sheryl’s description: forty-three years old, unkempt hair, skin of a smoker, big nose, sagging body parts, AND she had a boisterous personality.  Okay, there are many things I can over look, but a boisterous personality is NOT one of them.  That, and the fact that she wanted me to cast her for a role she could not play.  Not to judge, but that’s not how it works in Hollywood.  

Okay, now to judge: Sheryl wanted to play the roll of someone who was 20 years younger than her!  HAHAHAHA!  I know it sounds mean for me to laugh, but this woman pestered me day after day, after day!  I got to the point where I’d see her coming and I’d have to hide.  It’s not like our conversations were quick either, she ranted nonstop until a supervisor caught her.

Now, back to the point of this post: Doubt. 

Did I have to go to school for writing?  No.  Did I need to go to school for it?  No, probably not.  I could have learned how to do it all on my own, and still figured out how to be successful.  Why did I go back to school?  That’s a very good question, and it’s one that will have to wait until my next post.


Since I’ve already taken the first step towards the cliff, I may as well finish and take the dive.  I know it’ll feel like skydiving all over again.  Will my parachute open, or will I plunge straight into the ground and meet my end?  I don’t like to talk finances, but with over 100K in student loans, I don’t have a choice but to make a name for myself.  So, Doubt, you’re going to have to take a hike, because there’s no room for you in this vehicle!

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